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Why you ALWAYS attract what you don’t want + NEVER attract what you do

Are you the girl who always ends up with a lying, cheating scumbag?

Maybe you’re the nice guy who never gets the girl.

Or the person who’s always broke.

Or never feeling accepted.

Or always getting screwed over.

Always and never are two extremely important words to be mindful of using when you’re describing yourself or the situations in your life.

These words are very powerful as they trigger strong feelings and emotions – which, of course, are the driving forces behind manifestation.

Have you ever noticed that when you hear someone use the phrase – “that’s the story of my life”, it’s almost always in relation to a negative circumstance? Something that never goes right or always goes wrong.

Just an innocent little phrase like that has the power to keep us chained in the same place, stuck in a cycle of negative self-talk.

Our life stories are beliefs that we create about our experiences – based on what never, or always seems to happen for us. We constantly tell ourselves and the people around us that we have accepted these fates by using these words. We expect these outcomes, and as a result, we keep attracting them.

I’ve done it, and you’ve probably done it too. So this post right here is all about learning to break those cycles and rewrite those life stories to attract better experiences to us, starting right now.

How we create negative ‘life stories’ and attract more

Ever noticed a repeating theme in your life?

For example – let’s say you keep getting into relationships with people who cheat on you. No matter where you meet them or how different they are to the last partner you had – the outcome is always the same – they end up cheating on you.

After repeatedly having the same experience, despite doing everything you can to change it, you start to feel helpless.

You start thinking things like: ‘No matter what I do, I always end up being cheated on.’

A friend might say, ‘You’re gorgeous, smart and funny. How are you still single?’

And you light-heartedly reply: ‘I thought so too! But I always seem to get cheated on.’ With a shrug, you’ll probably add: ‘Oh well! That’s just my luck.’

At this point, this negative experience of constantly being cheated on has become a part of you. It has become ‘your life story’.

So, whenever you meet a new person, you expect it. Any hopefulness you might have is tainted by that expectation, so much so, that you can’t even allow yourself to feel it.

So, the vibration of expecting a negative outcome wins, and you manifest that outcome into reality.

And it continues! Like the most annoying, frustrating cycle in the world.

Identifying your ‘life story’

Like everything else you read on this blog, I’m talking from experience!

My life story used to be “Men are all the same, they always treat me so badly and I can never trust them.”

Just looking at that sentence makes me cringe – I don’t need to hand out gold stars to anyone who can guess how I attracted untrustworthy men who didn’t treat me the way I wanted them to for so long. It’s very obvious.

But of course, this is way before I knew anything about the law of attraction, so these men would keep showing up in my life and I’d keep wondering why and how, no matter what I did, I always attracted the same kind of guy.

Every time the circumstance would repeat itself, so would that thought, until it became a belief and my life story – something that happened so often that I expected it, and accepted it, as part of my reality.

That’s totally normal, by the way.

I mean, if something keeps happening over and over again, of course, you’re going to end up thinking that it ‘always’ happens and that it’s just the way it is for you.

But what if it’s not?

Whether it’s meeting the same type of guys or girls or not having enough money, energy, time or anything else you want, you can break this cycle and create a new life story for yourself.

I know you can, because I did.

Breaking the cycle of negativity by rewriting your life story

When I discovered the law of attraction and started learning that thoughts become things, the first conscious decision I made was to change the story of my life.

I decided that I no longer wanted to be the girl who was treated badly by guys, the girl who could never trust men. It wasn’t easy – but I did it in 3 steps:

1- Acceptance

Yeah, so maybe in the past you have always been broke. Or you have always attracted people that didn’t understand you, or cheated on you, or didn’t treat you the way you wanted to be treated.

This isn’t about denial – it happened, numerous times, and that’s why you took it as a given that it would keep happening.

Fair enough – but from today – that stops.

Because today is the day that you’ve accepted that your beliefs and expectations have kept you focused on these types of people or circumstances, hence why they’ve been showing up in your life.

And now you’re shifting your focus to what you want, so you can attract that instead.

2- Letting go of repeating patterns

You’ve learned the lessons that these people were sent to teach you. And if you didn’t learn anything – you at least got clearer on what you did want by experiencing what you didn’t.

These experiences may be all you know right now because it’s been a constant cycle of expectation and manifestation.

But cycles can end!!

Every day you rise in the morning, there are a full 24 hours of mystery ahead of you – you don’t know what’s going to happen. So, you can free yourself from the expectancy by knowing this.

Free yourself from expecting the next guy or girl you meet to be an asshole.

Free yourself from expecting to see a big fat zero when you check your bank account.

Free yourself from expecting a negative response from someone you try to talk to.

You never know – the universe just might have a surprise in store for you 🙂

Every time you feel that expectancy of a negative outcome creeping up, remind yourself of three simple words – you never know.

3- A shift in perspective

This is the part where you put your imaginary pen to imaginary paper and rewrite your life story. It’s a similar process to creating affirmations – except these aren’t short, punchy statements you’re reciting daily to change your situation.

These are beliefs about your life, based on repeating experiences you have had, that you’re transforming to break the cycle and change your life.

Make a promise to yourself that you’ll never tell the old story again. Why would you want to? It’s boring, you’ve heard it a million times and it does nothing for you.

It’s time to get creative and replace it with a new story. All it takes is a shift in perspective – look for the positive, you can find it in every situation. Let’s try it now – for the person who is ‘always broke’. (By the way, if you struggle to find the positive in your negative situations, my Shift your Perspective worksheet can help.)

“I never have enough money”

Shift: But somehow you always manage to get by? You’re reading this from some sort of device that costs money for sure, you have clothes on your back and you have food on the table every night. Sure, your situation might not be the greatest right now, but rather than focusing on all the things you can’t buy, focus on the things you have been able to acquire with that little money you have.

Rewrite: “I always find a way to get by. Money finds its way to me whenever I need it. There is abundance all around me, I have a roof over my head, access to running water every day and food to eat when I’m hungry. In a world where people are living on the streets and starving, that is abundance. I am lucky.”

To rewrite my own life story, I sat and thought about all the positive experiences and relationships I’d had with men – not only romantic, but friendships as well.

There were plenty of men in my life that I could trust and loads of men who treated me amazingly – but I’d spent my whole life focused on a few idiots that didn’t. And most of them ended up apologising at some point in the future anyway.

As I focused on my strong and healthy relationships with men in my life, that became my new life story.

And of course, I began to attract much better men and more positive experiences with them.

But it wasn’t just the standard of men that changed. My whole attitude transformed as well, resulting in much better interactions with them. Instead of being paranoid and suspicious, I relaxed, allowing me to show off my fun, playful side and be myself.

I could let go, and be more open because I wasn’t constantly telling myself that I couldn’t trust the person.

A simple shift goes a long way.

When you shift your perspective, you look for the best instead of expecting the worst and that’s how you end up attracting better.

If you constantly have a negative attitude about money and always expect to be broke – you’ll attract that because your eyes won’t be open to opportunities of abundance – you’ll miss them all by staying focused on the things that make you feel broke.

You know I love this saying:

Dealing with setbacks

When you start seeing results from the 3-step process above, you’ll feel like you’re riding a wave of positivity. You’ll watch the situations transforming in your life and think, ‘damn! This actually really works!’

That old negative life story and all the feelings attached to it will feel so distant, so far away from this new, amazing place that you’re in.

That’s why you’d be surprised at how quickly an unexpected setback can trigger off that old life story and make you feel like you’re back in that negative place, once again.

I’ve been there guys, and it’s not a nice place to be.

When this happens – and it will, because beliefs don’t change overnight – firstly you’ve gotta allow yourself to feel whatever it is you feel. Again, it’s about acceptance, not denial.

Then, pick yourself up and recite your new story.

Remember – everything happens for a reason. Sometimes the old repeating theme will make a brief comeback to remind us of what we really want, or to teach us something.

Sometimes mine comes back when I’m slipping into old patterns, to remind me not to expect the worst in the guys I meet if I don’t want to attract it.

Accept the reminder, take it on board and go back to living your new and improved life story.

If you want to change the experiences you have in your life, you can. Simply by deciding who you really are. From today, you’re no longer the person that always gets screwed over or cheated on. You’re no longer the person who never has any money or friends.

You’re the person who always gets what you want. You’re the person who never settles for less than you deserve.

How you see yourself plays a big part in the experiences you attract to your life. Remember that!

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